


How Quickly Life Can Turn Around

by feveredpitch



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 16:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feveredpitch/pseuds/feveredpitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being taken hostage in a diplomatic mission gone wrong, Jim makes an important sacrifice and promise to Bones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Quickly Life Can Turn Around

When they first started dating, Jim and Leonard were like any other couple going through a honeymoon phase. They took as many opportunities as possible aboard The Enterprise to exchange casual touches and promising glances, but still remaining as professional as possible.

But their favorite part of the day was late at night when they were both tucked in Jim's bed, sated from their rigorous love-making sessions. Sated and breathless, they layed side by side, hands intertwined, and they would talk. They would talk about their work days and their childhoods. Their hopes and dreams for the future. Their feelings for each other and how silly it was that it took them this long to get to where they were.

About a month after they had been officially dating, Jim was beamed planet-side for what was supposed to be a routine diplomatic mission and was supposed to last no more than a few hours. With Jim's luck and karma, however, that few hours turned into a days long hostage situation caused by a nation that had, unbeknownst to the Federation, been in a state of civil unrest. A band of vigilantes had stormed the building the meetings and taken all of the government officials and guests hostages. It took close to a week before the Federation was able to orchestrate the release of their Enterprise Captain and luckily the worst damage Jim endured was a burn on his left arm where he had been grazed with phaser fire.

As he arrived to medbay and saw Leonard, Jim realized that he had not endured nearly the stress that his partner had. Their eyes met and Jim was able to see every ounce of emotion that his Bones had gone through in the previous week, ranging from stress to anger to relief that Jim was finally in front of him in one piece. Leonard wordlessly bandaged up Jim's arm and released him back to active duty.

"Bones, wait a second." Jim tried to grab his arm to get Leonard to look at him, but Bones took a quick step back to avoid his touch.

"Not now, Jim."

Bones knew he was being harsh and he knew that Jim had endured much more than he had over the week. His eyes softened and his heart clenched when he saw the hurt look in Jim's eyes.

"I'm not saying we aren't gonna talk about it, but not now. I can't. Later, okay? I'll come by after my shift." Bones gave what he hoped was an encouraging squeeze to Jim's arm before walking away.

Jim went back to his quarters and spent the rest of his day pacing the room and practicing his speech to Bones in his head. He knew that they couldn't keep going this way, that it was going to end badly one way or another - either with Bones leaving Jim because he couldn't handle seeing Jim come back hurt every time he went away. Or it would end up with Jim being dead. Either way, Jim knew he wasn't going to be knowingly responsible for the grief and heartache of the man he loved.

Later that evening, as he heard Bones let himself into his quarters, Jim started getting a little nervous. He tried to wipe the sweat of his palms on the knees of his faded jeans and take a deep breath so he wouldn't seem so nervous. He stood up and they looked at each other for a few beats. 

"Bones listen, I've been thinki--,"

Jim wasn't able to get very far into his eloquent speech he had prepared before Bones had crossed the room, taking Jim's head between his hands and kissing him absolutely breathless. The kiss was sloppy and frenzied, like they both had spent the last week thinking they would never get this chance again. When breathing became a necessity and they finally parted, Jim noticed that his face was wet and Leonard's eyes were shining with tears. Jim threaded his hands through Bones' hair and brought their faces together to rest Bones' forehead on his.

"I'm so sorry, Bones. I'm so, so sorry." Jim whispered his apology over and over again, stroking Bones' temples with his thumbs.

"S'ok, kid. Know you don't do stupid shit like this on purpose." Leonard was trying to inject a bit of humor into the situation, but his voice was unsteady and broken, sounding like he could break down into tears again at any moment.

"S'not okay, Bones. I'm supposed to be the one that protects you. Not supposed to be the one that hurts you. I won't do it again. It won't happen again."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Jim. I know what I signed up for when we started this."

"I can promise it to you - and I will. I already talked to Admiral Archer and Commander Spock today. And further diplomatic mission and peace talks will be handled by Spock, unless Starfleet deems it absolutely necessary that I be there. Can't get myself into stupid situations if I'm on board."

Bones pulled back a bit to look at Jim's face, just to gauge whether he was being serious or not. Though he should really know that Jim wouldn't joke about something like this.

"Really, Jim? You love that stuff. You love mingling with other life forms. And you sure as hell love getting yourself in loads of unnecessary danger."

"Really. I had a lot of time to think - turns out being held hostage means you don't have a lot of time for much else." 

"So what all were you thinking about that made you come to this decision?" Leonard's tone was light, but the tightness in his voice still gave a bit of a disbelieving edge to his words.

Jim wasn't an emotionally vulnerable guy and he flushed crimson at the thought of revealing his innermost feelings to Bones, but he needed to say the words. He needed to show him that this wasn't just a spur of the moment decision.

"Bones, can we go to bed?" Leonard's eyebrow started to arch and he opened his mouth to protest but Jim stopped him before he could start. "No, not like that. I just - I need to be close to you right now. And there are things I need to say that I don't think I can get out any other way."

Leonard knew that Jim viewed their late night talks in bed as a confession of sorts. He knew that it is where Jim felt the most open to talk about things he would never talk about in any other circumstance. So Bones acquiesced to his need and they went to Jim's bed, silently undressing and sliding under the covers. Jim turned on his side to face Bones, tracing gentle circles across his lover's chest, deep in thought about what exactly he wanted to say and how to say it.

"I thought a lot about you and how scared I was that I was never going to see you again. I kept thinking about how happy I am when I wake up in the morning and you are snoring away next to me. I kept thinking about how at peace I felt at moments like this, with you beside me knowing that no matter what I say or do, I will always have your unconditional love and acceptance. I realized that I, by no means, deserve your love but somehow you have given it and I don't want to take it for granted anymore."

Bones opened his mouth to reply but Jim placed a single finger across his lips signaling that he wasn't finished.

"Please, just let me get this out- If I don't say it now I may never have the courage to say it again. Leonard, you are without a doubt the best thing I have ever had in my life. I didn't know I was capable of love before you. Hell, I didn't know I was capable of loving before you. For the entire week all I could think about is how I would feel if the situations were reversed. How would I feel if it was you and I didn't know if you were broken and bleeding or if you were even alive at that point. I wouldn't be able to handle it and I don't know how the hell you can.

"So, I am making this promise to you - never again. If it comes down to being the Captain of the Enterprise versus putting myself in a situation that would put my life in danger and risk hurting you, you will win every time."

"Jim, you wouldn't just walk away from your ship. It's all you ever wanted."

"It use to be all I wanted, but thanks to you my priorities have changed. I love my ship, but you are my life. I couldn't make it without you and I don't want you to have to make it without me. This is what relationships are about, isn't it? Compromise?"

Leonard just stared at him as Jim's words sunk in. All throughout the Academy, all Jim ever talked about was being in the black and having his own ship. Now he was willing to walk away from it all, just for him. He didn't know what to say.

"I - I don't know what to say, kid."

"You don't have to say anything. I'm not expecting you to. I didn't tell you this to try and guilt you into being okay with me putting myself in dangerous situations. I'm telling you this because I decided that you come before everything else. Before the chair. Before The Enterprise. Before everything."

There was a finality in his tone and a small glint of defiance in Jim's eyes that signaled to Leonard that the conversation was over. Jim had made his decision and as long as he wouldn't come to regret it, that was all Leonard needed. 

Bones decided there had been too much talking that evening so he pulled Jim into his arms and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. 

"Computer, lights off."

He wrapped his arms around Jim and they fell asleep in tangled limbs and the promises of forever.


End file.
